A lot of us go through life feeling needy of affection, approval and attention from others. This causes us to focus on the “outside” while disconnecting with our inner space of being. Neediness always arises from lack based thinking and a self-critical mindset. People who are self-critical are usually always seeking approval and affection outside themselves and hence end up becoming “needy” in their behavior. Also, a lack based mindset causes people to think that they need to “cling” to someone because they feel that life will not bring in new/better relationship if they let go of this one. Neediness is a highly toxic mindset and it immediately makes your point of attraction to be rooted in lack. Overcoming the attitude of neediness is all about letting go of viewing life from the lens of lack and developing the mindset of self-love through self-alignment.
The toxicity of a mindset of neediness
The vibration of neediness is so toxic that it can easily attract negativity in all aspects of your life. You may feel needy in a relationship but this vibration of neediness has the capacity to attract lack in other aspects of your life like your finance or health. Law of attraction is simply responding to your vibrational stand point and when “neediness” is at the helm of your vibration it gets you rooted towards attracting a lack-based reality not just in the aspect you are focused on but also on other aspects of your life.
You will notice that a person who is rooted in neediness, with respect to his/her personal relationship, would also be manifesting realities of lack with respect to his/her career, finance or health in some way or the other. If you are honest within yourself, you can easily identify the pattern of “needy” thoughts arising in your mind. Be authentic and see if you are being needy in your behavior towards your partner (or any person you seek to build a relationship with). Neediness is most prominent in relationships because most people are needy of affection, approval and attention – it could be a relationship with your parents, friends or your love-interest (spouse or intimate partner).
Most people who end up in several failed relationships (going through bitter break ups or separations) are usually the ones who are rooted in a mindset of neediness when it comes to love or attention. A needy person fails to recognize that their neediness is suffocating, and feels toxic, to their partner (or any sentient being) and thus they can’t quite understand why their partner starts distancing himself/herself. It’s normal for a human being to feel repelled by the vibration of neediness in another human. We inherently feel repulsed when we sense someone being needy of our attention or affection, and yet we sometimes go ahead and depict the same behavior with our close ones.
Relationship is not about satisfying your neediness
A lot of people look at an intimate relationship as a vista through which they can fulfill the “incompleteness” that they feel within themselves. They want their partner to fulfill them and thus feel completely justified in being “dependent” on their partner’s attention and affection. This dependence can feel good for a while but soon enough it would start suffocating the partner involved. The reason why a lot of relationships that start off with a lot of passion seem to become highly toxic in sometime is because most humans cannot tolerate an overdose of dependence (emotional or physical) from anyone for long. Unfortunately a lot of people mistake their neediness for their “passion” or love. They feel they are being passionate towards their partner when in truth they might just be “possessive”, needy and overly dependent.
The best relationships get attracted when you are rooted in a sense of “fulfillment” within yourself. When you feel “complete” in yourself, you will always attract a partner who reflects this sense of abundance back at you. When you fully accept yourself as you are, you will always attract a partner who will accept you fully and would align with you in a way that serves your growth and well-being. The paradox is that in order to attract a happy relationship you first need to be happy/fulfilled with yourself – actually this is the secret to attracting any form of abundance into your life.
The only way one can align with a harmonious external reality is by dis-identifying with the mindset of neediness. When you observe your mind it will be quite clear that neediness is just a “thought pattern” and it’s really your choice whether you want to bestow your attention/belief/interest to these thought or if you would rather align with thoughts of abundance.
Your present reality is the way it is because of your present mindset. If your present reality is rooted in lack, its time you started letting go of elements/thought-patterns in your mind that are attracting this unwanted experiences into your reality. Neediness is the most toxic thought pattern that most people are rooted in and letting go of it is essential to allowing the influx of harmony and abundance in one’s reality.