The factor that causes most suffering in our life is “fear”. The mind being a survival machine can easily tap into the dimension of fear and when one’s awareness is not strong, it’s easy to get pulled into fueling the fears of the mind through identification with it. Awareness is the only force that can truly liberate you from the hold of fear and allow you to align with your natural expression without being inhibited by the resistance of fear-based thoughts. The crippling effect of fear is that it tends to cloud all the other dimensions of your mind very easily – it can come so strongly into the fore-ground that you forget about the other dimensions in your mind. I mentioned in the post – the 6 dimensions of the mind – that the dimension of love is pushed into irrelevance when the mind is fearful. A fearful mind has no space for allowing the dimension of love in it, because fear is construed in the mind as a deep threat to its survival and hence it always takes priority over other dimensions like love, joy or sexuality.
Confidence is basically a state of being where you are not controlled by the psychological fears of the mind. True confidence always comes from a place of awareness, when you use your awareness to dis-identify from a fear. It’s easy to project a fake confidence, which is easily destroyed, or seen through, as soon as a challenge arises. The truth is that challenges, or growth opportunities, will keep arising in our life and it’s about constantly attaining “confidence” about every situation that arises by bringing awareness to the fears that are triggered in the mind, and thus dis-identifying from them. Life is an eternal journey of growth, because every reality allows for an expansion into a new reality, and when we have the power of awareness in our being, it’s easy to keep dissolving fears that naturally arise with every change, or every challenge or every transition in life – and thus constantly move from a place of confidence.
It’s natural for fears to arise
If you are living in a hope that one day your mind will be fully free of fear, it just means you don’t have a clear understanding of what the mind is about. The dimension of fear is hard-wired in the mind, not only as a primordial survival mechanism but also as an aspect of wisdom. If you remove this dimension from the mind, you are not very likely to survive for long. So it’s first important to understand the huge value that the dimension of fear serves in your physicality. It’s also important to understand that a lot of your desires, or thoughts of expansion, arise from this dimension of fear, and the very juice of life is the birthing of new desires that creates movement/growth in its life-stream – desire is what gives life to the life energy, it’s what creates the movement, the aliveness. So fear has a role to play in this game of physicality, it’s not about getting rid of fear “permanently” but to be able to transcend it every time it arises in response to life situations. Fear is not the problem, the problem is “unconscious” identification with it, and hence not going with the opportunity of expansion/growth that it creates.
Some people, under the influence of misunderstood spiritual teachings, start assuming that awakening/enlightenment is a state where one’s mind becomes permanently free of fear. This deluded assumption causes them to be in an futile, endless, seeking process which basically makes them a “drop out” from life because their whole pursuit gets rooted in trying to run way from fear, which causes them to take up “escapist” strategies. Some people learn quickly that escapist strategies don’t work, and that you are not here to permanently get rid of any dimension in the mind. Awakening is not about getting rid of the dark natures of the mind (such as fear & hatred), it’s about being conscious of them and not letting them “influence” your natural expression negatively.
In an awakened state, you are not trying to “escape” fear, you simply transcend it through “awareness”, every time it arises in response to a life situation – this journey is one of eternal growth, to have a delusion that you will permanently end a certain dimension in your mind makes you become a person who is an “escapist” rather than being “growth oriented”. When you really understand the dynamics of life (what I call being enlightened about life), you become a “growth oriented” person, and stop being an escapist – you are no longer fearing your fears, you are open to fears arising in your mind and keep growing by transcending them as they arise. Anyone who allows fear to dominate their being ends up in a stagnant life, anyone who keeps transcending fears as they arises, keeps moving into new, fresh, realities at a smooth pace.
Fear can only cripple you when you are lost in it
People who say that they lack “confidence” are basically saying that they are lost in a certain fear in their mind which is crippling their physical life, in other words they lack the power of awareness to transcend that fear. In many cases, people start using all forms of strategies, ranging from meditation to medication, in a bid to “bypass” their fears and it never seems to work for long – this is because you can’t ever bypass a fear, you have to pass through it. And the only way you can pass through a fear is by bringing it to your awareness, and seeing through its influence – the simple logic is when you “see” a fear in your mind, in clear awareness, you stop being lost in it. When you bring awareness to a fear, in you, a few times, in a fearless/open manner, it starts losing its hold on you. It’s just like when you see a horror movie the first time it can scare the daylights out of you, but when you see it the second time it’s far less scary, and by the time you see it the 10th time you hardly feel any sense of fear – in other words, you become confident of watching this movie though it is the same one that scared you so badly initially. This is the power of awareness, it always brings you to a place of confidence.
Through my interactions with people, I’ve seen how the onset of awareness has brought huge shifts in their life as they start becoming free of some fears that had been crippling their life’s expression for so long. And I see this constantly in my personal life. Once you’ve grown strong in the power of awareness, no fear can ever have a hold on you for long, and this is what makes you “confident” of enjoying your physical life. People who live in insecurity are the ones who are not confident that they can face a fear when it arises. People who are secure are the ones who don’t fear fear, they’ve “not” gotten rid of dimension of fear in their mind, they’ve just developed the understanding that they can transcend any fear that arises through the power of their awareness. This is what it means to be confident in life.