A lot of people misunderstand the pointer of “allowing”, or surrendering to what is, as a means to become “passive” rather than using it as an understanding to enhance their capacity to live a deliberate life of well-being and growth. The application of allowing is supposed to work in conjunction with the application of deliberate intention, it’s like the yin and yang of living, one without the other leads to an imbalance. People who stop being deliberate about their lives, and just become “surrendered”, can easily get pulled in by the will of others, thus leading a below par life which does not do a real justice to their inherent desires or potential for expression. On the other hand, people who don’t employ “surrender”, or allowing, become disconnected from the intelligence of their life-stream and become pure “ego forces” who try to force their reality, and the reality of others, to bend towards their, possibly misguided, egoic perspective, thus creating disharmony in their lives and that of others. The ego/mind needs to work in conjunction with your inner being (or the wholeness of your life-stream) in order to create a harmonious reality, an attempt at “egoless” living is as harmful as a pure egoic living – it’s about a balance.
We live in a shared reality, called Earth. Each of us has an individual set point but we also have a common domain in which we are to create and experience our realities, and our realities are bound to impact the realities of others in positive or negative ways. Sometimes there can be a delay in the manifestation of your reality in order to accommodate, and sync up, the realities of other people who may be impacted by your reality. In some cases, the intent you have may not really be in sync with the larger harmony, in which case your intent is watered down by the larger intent. This does not mean that you cannot live a reality that’s congruent with you, it just means you have allow some leeway to accommodate aspects of your shared reality.
Your personal reality can always be in sync with what you desire it to be, but when you venture into the domain of “shared reality” your intent does not have the same power because now it clashes with the intent of others – for example the intent for “world peace”, though powerful, cannot really take shape unless it’s an intent held by the majority. However, when you try to be “egoless” your personal reality can get impacted by the intent of elements in your shared reality where you may just become a puppet manipulated by the will of others, thus feeling helpless or exploited. You can live the best of both worlds where you attract a congruent personal reality as well as be a positive/harmonious influence on the shared reality when you balance your ability for deliberate creation with the attitude of “allowing”.
Accommodate the impact of being in a shared reality
You can’t have it totally your way when you are working in a shared reality, you can’t have traffic free roads, zero terrorism, zero abuse etc just because you consciously intend it to be so. This can make you feel that you don’t have any control on your reality, but that’s a terribly false assumption. Just because you can’t “fully” control aspects of a shared reality does not mean that you don’t have full control on your personal reality. In fact, there is an excitement, and suspense, of being a deliberate creator is in a “shared reality” because now there are so many probabilities added to the equation, and it becomes a highly challenging deal for your life-stream to deliver your desire/reality while honoring the free-will of your shared reality – it’s a test of organizing skills of your life-force. Of course, your life-stream enjoys this challenge and it has the intelligence to orchestrate events in your favor if you are allowing of it – but if you give up on yourself, and start trying to fit in with the conditioning of your shared reality (thus being influenced by the outside) you will no longer be a co-operative component to allowing your life-stream to work for you, thus it can’t really “deliver” because now you are no longer receptive.
The biggest challenge of being in a shared reality is to maintain your sense of individuality – including staying true to your heart’s expression/desires. This where it’s so important to understand your power of being a deliberate creator, if you give up on yourself you are no longer being “deliberate” and hence you will just end up being molded by the others who are exercising their intent. You can see this happening to children, basically they have very little deliberation and can easily be influenced by the intent of the adults in their reality. It may seem unfair, but basically that’s the deal of life, infancy/childhood is a phase and it has its limitations, adulthood is supposed to be the phase where you can claim your true power as a deliberate creator, but the problem is the most adult are so hung-up by their childhood that they keep repeating the same patterns of “helplessness”. On the other hand, there are adults, who are too head strong, and don’t appreciate the fact that they need respect the aspects of being in a shared reality and thus keep imposing their intent forcibly on others, creating disharmony – this is part of unconscious living.
A conscious adult uses deliberation to live his/her personality reality but does not use this power to influence/force/intimidate the reality of others – deliberate creation is a powerful ability and it takes maturity/understanding to learn to work responsibly with it. This is one reason why in the olden days a student was made to work for 20-30 years in a monastery, understanding the art of allowing/surrender, gaining insights on the oneness of life, and was monitored closely to judge his/her maturity before being handed out the truths of life, especially the power of thought and creation. Nowadays, you can gain all the understandings (or misunderstandings) of deliberate creation quite easily, from plethora of books written on it, in short time, but that also poses the risk of right information in the wrong hands (by “wrong” I just mean immature or low awareness). A person who understands the necessity to sync up his/her deliberate intent with wholeness of life (by incorporating the state of allowing) is able to live life without frustration, in a state of responsible independence. Deliberate creation is your natural power, but when you are in shared reality you understand the importance of syncing it up with compassion for others – by compassion I just mean developing an understanding of others who may be at different levels of awareness.
There is no need for compromise
To be accommodating of aspects of shared reality does not mean you have to live a life of compromise. Like I said, you have the complete freedom to determine your personal reality – it’s only that you have to be allowing of aspects of shared reality that are not in your control owing to the fact that they are being created by the, conscious or unconscious, intent of people in your shared reality. Don’t let the fact that you are in a shared reality become an excuse for you to defend limiting thoughts in your mind. If you give up on yourself, you will be pulled into the intent of others, if you are lucky they would be positive ones but they could just as well be negative ones. Whether you like it or not, your “choice” is what determines your reality – you may wish that some higher power made the choices for you, so that you can simply be passive, but that’s because you don’t understand that you are here to realize your own power, that’s what self-realization means, and that’s what enlightenment means if anything. If a higher power took full control of your life, it would defeat your growth and go against your free-will – you are a stream of consciousness with all the characteristics/powers of source, and you are on a journey towards realizing yourself consciously.
So, how do you not compromise while accommodating a shared reality? When you find yourself in a reality, you see contrasts in it and this instigates a desire in you for a better, or more congruent, reality. You need to stay true to these desires in you, without compromising on them in your mind/being, while being accommodating of your present reality as it is, patiently allowing your life-stream to orchestrate your personal reality for you. For example, you may be in a city with a lot of bad roads, bad traffic conditions and basically a bad driving experience, and desire to have a reality where you can enjoy your drive – if this desire means something to you, then give it your full deliberation (in the sense, acknowledge that you really want to experience this reality). Once you have launched this desire, don’t hold a thought of compromise, and let your life-stream orchestrate events to meet this desire in a manner that’s in sync with the shared reality of this Earth – rest assured it will find a way to do so. You will have to give it time though, it may not happen in a week or even a few months, but if you stand true to your deliberate choice and stay allowing of your life-stream to find the best solution, you will experience a shift in your personal reality towards your desired reality; possibly you get transferred to a city with open roads and also find your life partner there – thus killing two birds with one stone (an inappropriate analogy).
The key factor here is to not compromise in your mind, while not trying to push at anything through force of your action – from a place of frustration, impatience, or fear. If you push around, using your force, you could well be messing up a smooth orchestration and creating unnecessary obstacles for yourself and others. Hold your deliberate choice, and let things happen, rest assured they will happen; your life-stream is not slacking it, it’s just that it can take some time to sync things up – this is where it’s important to have this sense of surrendering to what is, of being allowing, without compromising within. You can see how balance is the key to everything in life, surrender without compromise seems like a paradox, but it’s not – you are surrendering to your life-force to let it orchestrate the best solution while not compromising on the essence of your desire. Life does not like to waste resources, and hence if you give up on your choice at any point, the indirect message is that you don’t need this reality any more and it will let go of the orchestration – you can see that only desires that really matter to you manifest in their “specifics”, the rest just manifest in a general fashion. Well-being is a given if you have an aligned vibration and your life will in general be a journey of positive events, but if you want specific desires they really need to matter to you.
Experiencing general well-being
To experience a state of general well-being in your life you need to stand true to the inner choice of deliberately desiring joy over struggle. This again is a “choice”, because when you are born into this life you can get conditioned to choose struggle over joy. You don’t need to have any specific desires, but it’s important to have this general desire for joy over struggle – your life-stream cannot bring you well-being on consistent basis if it’s not a deliberate choice on your part. A lot of us experience constant struggle in our life and start doubting the fairness of life, but ultimately we fail to understand that we have a free-will and even if we exercise it unconsciously we are still exercising it – so when your mindset is one of struggle, you are exercising your free-will to tell the universe that you want struggle.
Of course, it’s not your fault that your mindset got programmed towards struggle owing to the circumstances you may have been born into, and this is not a blame game, it’s just that you need to now understand the way life works and consciously change this unconscious choice into a conscious one of choosing a life of joy/wholeness. It’s again your choice if you want to sit complaining about life, just that it won’t really make any difference towards improving your reality. When I see people complaining, my only question is – do you want a positive change or have you started enjoying complaining? It may come across as if I am being insensitive, but in truth I would rather see a person being empowered than sympathized. If you want a positive change you have to make a conscious/deliberate change in your attitude, in that you need to let go of holding onto negativity including the mindset of struggle – it’s not an easy choice to make when you’ve trained yourself in this mindset for years, but that’s where the understanding of the power of deliberate creation, and the power of allowing, becomes important.
Once you make the inner choice towards joy, you can then become allowing of your life-stream to orchestrate your reality. It will start with reprogramming your mind towards a certain maturity needed for a balanced experience of reality, it will move towards purging your accumulation of past negative energy (or suppressed energy), harmonize your physiology, and having established this initial “ground”/foundation, it will move towards bringing external changes. The inner change always happens first, and usually people just want to see the external changes too quickly without being patient enough to allow the inner transformation to first take place – inner change may not be visible to the outer world, your family would rather see you bringing paychecks home than entertain claims of you going through inner transformation, but this is a part of the journey towards deliberate creation and it’s important that you understand the dynamics of it. Once the inner ground is ready, you will see swift changes in your external reality and from there on the ball is set rolling towards fast manifestations.
The period of inner transformation may be the most difficult phase for your mind simply because you don’t get to see a lot of the external changes that you desire, that you want to see, hear, touch, taste and thus experience for real. However, this is the ground work needed for your “congruent” reality to be built on. Without this foundation, there will be constant resistance to your life-stream’s orchestration of events for you. The inner transformation could be in terms of physical harmony, developing understanding, growing in mental maturity and releasing past accumulation of emotional energy, and you can see it playing out within you, you can sense your inner growth every day. The more allowing you are the more easily the inner transformation happens, but all along you need to understand that it started with your choice/desire for a joy-based, and aligned, life – if you don’t stand true to this choice initially, this process does not even get started in full force.
Once you start experiencing general well-being in your external reality, you know that you are pretty aligned within – it means you’ve come to a natural balance between deliberate intent for a struggle-free life and the state of “allowing”. In this place you can start exercising your intent for “specific” desires, now that you understand the mechanics of deliberation and allowing.