For you to manifest your desired physical realities the most important requirement is that you be totally grounded in the reality of physicality (or the true nature of your physical world). The reason why most people have a hard time manifesting their desired reality is because they are holding on to some “fantasy” based ideas about it instead of being grounded in the reality of how physical life operates and thus there are several deep “resistance” patterns inside them that they are not even aware of (or in state of denial of). These resistances constantly impede the movement of your life stream towards manifesting the physical realities that you desire to experience. When you are grounded in the nature of physical-ness, you will be able to identify your resistances easily and thus be able to dissolve them through the light of your awareness.
One reason why it’s easier to stay rooted in “fantasy” based visualizations instead of being rooted in a “reality” based visualization is because several of your inner resistances or conflicts becomes “apparent” to you the moment you venture into the actual aspects of reality, and this can make you feel “uncomfortable” to say the least. But unless you allow your awareness to touch these conflicts, resistances, hang-ups or fears within you (that you have towards some aspects of physical reality), you cannot dissolve them and thus you would stand resisting the manifestation unconsciously.
Physical reality is not as temporal as a dream world
In your dreams, or while you are “day dreaming”, it’s possible to shift between realities simply by changing thoughts. You can dream up your desired realities in “short clips”, just focusing on the beautiful parts and skipping the “context” of reality in which they are supposed to take place. For example, you may just visualize an “image”, or a still picture, of some desired reality – like you walking on the beach holding the hands of your ideal partner, with a beautiful sunset on the background. This a beautiful picture for sure, and it makes you feel good, and there is nothing wrong with staying focused on a “feel good” visualization, but if you don’t bring yourself to also be aware of the “reality” of physical life, in the context of your desired reality, you would just be rooted in a “fantasy” because you are not in “sync” with how physical life operates, thus not allowing for the “maturity” that’s required, in you, for the physical reality to manifest.
I will use the example I gave above, about the visualization most people do to manifest a beautiful relationship, to explain what it really means to ground yourself in reality of life and thus place your visualization in the “real” context of physical life. Below I’ve outlined two cases for visualizing the desired reality of a beautiful relationship – 1. Fantasy based visualization 2. Reality based visualization
Fantasy based visualization
This is when your visualization is out of context with the reality of life, and thus it does not allow you to sense the patterns of resistance/immaturity/hang-ups/conflicts present within you. Here’s how I would think if I were having a “fantasy” based visualization about a beautiful relationship.
- Everything is always beauty in its perfection when we are spending time together, perfect sunsets, perfect beaches, perfect conversations, perfect food, perfect service, perfect weather, perfect scenery, perfect friends etc We are always on vacation spots.
- She does not have preferences of her own, and is totally devoted to making me feel happy all the time
- She does not have any selfishness in her, is only focused on what I want
- Sex with her is always perfect, with no clumsiness in either of us, just like in some movies
- She’s looking pretty all the time, with flowing hair, glowing skin and cheerful eyes
- We always have something to talk about or something fun to do
- She is always around when I need her, but she gives me total space when I want to be on my own. She’s always understanding of my requirement for space.
- She listens to the music I like to listen, she watches movies I like to watch, she eats food I like to eat and we seem to have no conflict of opinions
- She’s always in a good mood and always feeling great, and always in good health.
- I have the freedom to do what I want, at any moment, with her adjusting to all my requirements
Of course, one look at the above list and you know it’s completely not “reality” based. But most of us seem to visualize our desired realities in this manner, unknowingly or because we prefer to stay in denial of facing up to some inner conflicts/immaturities. This is the reason why we seem to associate some form of “extra ordinary” happiness with our desired realities, and create the illusion that once it manifests we would somehow enter into experiences of constant joy. This is also the reason why some of our desired realities look so “big” to us, they seem “larger than life”.
Reality based visualization
Any visualization that’s based in reality, always accounts for the “ordinariness” inherent to life. Moments of euphoria don’t define happiness – they are experiences of fleeing “thrills” or kicks that come up now and then (especially when you are rooted in some fantasy based thinking). True happiness is a constant sense of wholeness that you feel when you are no longer “totally” identified with the movements of the mind. It’s the happiness inherent to your being, which is very “ordinary” in its calmness and stability. – like being the depth of the ocean allowing the waves to ripple on the surface.
When you become aware of the ordinariness of life, you no longer have “fantasy” based ideas about any of your desired realities. You put them in the right context of ordinariness instead of associating some extra-ordinary state of being with it. This is how I would have a reality based visualization about a beautiful relationship.
- She is happy with the type of life I live, but also wants to bring some changes that help her fit in
- She’s not always trying to please me and pander to all my whims and fancies, but she lets me know that she likes being with me through the small gestures of love/care that come through genuinely
- Her well-being is one of my priorities, with the required maturity to try to understand her interests and inclinations
- We may not always have great conversations, sometimes there is hardly anything to talk. We may not always have fun things to do, and might just be spending a slow day together.
- There are times when I can’t relate to her way of thinking, and vice versa
- She may have several relatives in her family whom I may not be compatible with, including her parents and she may feel the same about mine
- We would be discussing some very practical aspects of living like finances, bills and chores, and our conversations will not always be tinged with romance
- She may not be in a mood for sex when I want it, and vice versa, and it won’t always be picture perfect
- She’s not always in her best looks (in fact hardly after we start living together), and her looks are not solely what I would be in the relationship for. What would be more important is the comfort we share with each other and the connection we feel in each others company
- I would have her problems/challenges added to my life as she’s a part of my life
- There would be several financial responsibilities that I would have “added” to my life, especially if we are married or doing a live-in
- Living together will soon reveal all her eccentricities, quirks and some annoying habits to me, as would be mine to her
- I would need to be attending some of her family functions, sometimes out of the responsibility of the relationship
- She will continue to grow as an individual human being which would reflect in her priorities and interests, and there’s a possibility of her wanting to move out of the relationship to pursue them. I might have such a inclination too, as a possibility.
- She will not always be around, at some point I would lose her either through her demise or mine.
As you can see, a reality oriented visualization is not always “rosy” but is grounded in the reality of life. The more you see, understand and experience that ground reality of this physical existence on earth, the more clearer would be the “context” in which you place your desired realities. For example, if you desire financial abundance, don’t just stay with “fantasy” dream about it (thinking only about the shopping, traveling and eating you will do), but allow yourself to really have a reality based visualization of what it would be like to have a lot of money – remember that if it feels “extra ordinary” it’s not rooted in reality.
Maturity is about being aligned with the reality of life
A few simple ground realities of our physical life are as below
- In reality experiences have far more dimensions to them than just the one-track experience you have in mind when you think of a desired reality
- All experiences are very temporary and hardly as “extra ordinary” as we imagine they would be
- Nothing on the outside (in the physical reality) has the capacity to give you a permanent sense of security or peace
- Physicality will always have cycles of lows and highs, your body cannot feel high all the time no matter what you do. But the peace of your being is always permanent irrespective of the fluctuations of your physical body.
- There will always be some contrast in your physical reality that will cause a desire in you for betterment, there is no such thing as “perfect reality” in the world of physical
- All minds (in all living beings), in their “natural” movement, are inherently selfish because they are “survival machines” that look out for their protection, and thus indirectly the protection of the ones they are “attached” to. We also perform some selfless actions at-times due to a deeper wisdom present in our “awareness” through our connection with the wholeness of life. (Since life is the only being present here, it’s inherently “full of self” or selfish by its very nature, it’s focused on itself because it’s all there is, and hence all its living manifestations have this quality too).
If there is a desire within you to move towards a certain reality, this desire is taken up in the wholeness of who you are and the movement of your life stream is towards this manifestation. But a part of the process of manifestation is about allowing an “inner maturity” to come through so that you are aligned with the “actual” reality that would unfold in sync with the context of physical reality of life on this planet.