All experiences have an infinite “depth” to them and it totally depends on your level of consciousness as to how much of its depth is accessible to you. A human being who has very little depth of awareness in him/her is usually only at the “surface” of an experience and hence misses out on really savoring the deeper dimensions available in every experience. This is one reason why “awareness” is likened to “aliveness”, the more the depth of awareness in you the more “alive” life feels to you.
People who are restless and always want to get to the “next thing” are usually the ones who are living on the “surface” without ever experiencing the depth of each moment. There is so much depth to explore in every “Now” moment that there is hardly any possibility of feeling bored – I don’t know what boredom is anymore because there is so much aliveness and depth even in the most ordinary moments – in the senses, in the mind, in the thoughts, in the feelings, in the sensations and in the “beingness”. But there was a time, when I had very little depth in my awareness, and I was highly restless constantly focused on getting to the next thing.
Get out of the “waiting” mode
Most humans are perpetually hinged on “waiting” for the next thing to happen in their life, for them all moments become a means to an end – an end which never arrives, and thus keeps them constantly in a restless and stressed out mode. When they are alone they want a relationship, when they have a relationship they want to be alone, when they are free they want some work, when they have work they want to be free – there is never any time when they really savor what “is” but are always focused on what should be. It’s fine to project into the future and desire scenarios that you wish to experience, it’s part of the mind’s job to do this – but if there is no part of you that is “aware” of accessing the depth of whatever “arises” in this moment, your whole life just becomes a movement on the “surface” with no real dimension of depth in it, making you feel empty all the time with rare moments of aliveness.
If you are constantly restless, frustrated and feeling “empty” it’s an indication that you are missing out on the depth of this moment and are looking for “something” (which you can’t figure out yourself) that you think is missing. If you access the wholeness of this moment as it is, you will know that nothing is missing – every moment has a beauty of its own, even those moments that feel “negative” to the mind have a dimension of beauty in them if you are can bring your “awareness” to its depth. Awareness allows you to bring the wholeness of your being into each experience instead of just the “narrow” presence of the judging mind.
Stop waiting for some “chocolate flavored” moments to arrive, when they do arrive enjoy them, but don’t live your life out waiting for these moments alone. Life is mostly very ordinary, and there’s beauty to this ordinariness when you are willing to access the aliveness and depth that’s present in every single moment.
Living on the surface vs living in the depth of life
When you read some books you can sense the depth in the way “reality” is described, and in some other books you get a sense that it’s just a surface-level treatise of reality. When you listen to some music you can sense a depth in its movement, whereas in some other music you may not get the same experience of depth. One painting can evoke a sense of surreal depth, while another painting just leaves you cold. A certain movie can evoke deep emotions in you while another movie would just feel empty. The depth present in the composer of the words, music and art, is what gets reflected in their expression – it can evoke a sense of depth even in an observer who is not aligned with his/her depth.
Someone who is living on the surface, with very little depth of awareness, does not have access to the deeper dimensions present in their reality, hence their experiences are surface level, and their expression lacks a dimension of “depth” too. Three common traits that mark the experience of a person living on the surface are – boredom, restlessness and irritation. They feel a sense of “emptiness” no matter what reality gets manifested around them. They can hardly sense the depth in the nature, in materials, in their energy or in the “presence” of another person or living being. They are constantly looking, for what they are missing, in the “horizontal movement” without realizing that the wholeness they are seeking is in the “vertical” moment, in the deepening of awareness into the depth of their being – which allows them to access the depth in the external reality also.
There are people who go to visit spiritual teachers, not because they get to hear anything new, but because they enjoy the experience of feeling the depth that emanates from the words and expressions of this teacher. The truth is that there is no end to our depth and our awareness can keep moving into deeper and deeper depths of our being – there is no end point to the depth that can be allowed in our awareness. It’s an infinite exploration.
There is so much to explore if you start looking at each movement from the dimension of depth rather than from the dimension of “surface-level”. When you watch, when you walk, when you eat, when you kiss, when you touch, when you are enjoying a sexual activity, when you read, when you rest, when you talk, when you listen, when sensations arise in you, when you are in pain or pleasure, allow a part of you to bring an element of awareness to the moment – this awareness will keep getting deeper as you allow it, and the deeper it gets the more colors and dimensions become revealed in each moment, the more you can sense the beauty that each experience affords and the more you connect with your own depth – life is whole each moment, this is who you essentially are, and you can sense this “wholeness” on a moment to moment basis when you allow awareness to move deeper and deeper in you.